You Can Only Help If Someone Wants Your Help

Whether it involves personal matters, or organizational leadership issues, one can only help someone who wants your help. Alcoholics Anonymous and similar organizations understand that their fine programs will only help those who first admit need. Similarly, often the leaders of organizations who need the most assistance and guidance, can only get help if they are willing to both listen and welcome advice.

One of the principal reasons that many things do not actually occur until there is a crisis or near- crisis situation, is that many individuals avoid making any type of decision, especially difficult ones. A parent cannot help or get help for an angry child until that child admits he has a "problem." A loved one cannot help or get help for someone with either an alcohol or drug-related dependency or other issue until the individual admits he needs help. Often, this admission does not occur until the individual reaches "ground bottom." The most ineffective organizational leader, someone who it is clear and apparent that needs advice and guidance from others with more knowledge, expertise, and ability, will often be unwilling to accept advice until there is a near "crisis."

In all of these situations, needy individuals often become resistant, belligerent, and "turn off" to anything or anyone that they interpret as being "against" them. It is often related to a sense of inferiority that causes a resistance to anything the individual interprets as being oppositional.

Unfortunately, just as the addicted, dependent, or other needy individual waits a long time (often too long) to seek and accept assistance and help, ineffective organizational leaders behave in a similar matter. Where an individual that needs but doesn't accept help harms himself in many cases, the "leader" that doesn't "face the reality" of his ineffective leadership, in many cases causes damage (sometimes irreparable or nearly irreparable) to his organization. Since this occurs quite often in organizations, it is extremely important that organizations develop a better procedure and technique to qualify and locate their leaders. In addition, organizations need to emphasize the multi- staged approach to leadership training; (1) initial or entry level leadership training; (2) up-and-coming, local level, or intermediate leadership training; (3) moving on up, or advanced leadership training; (4) challenges of leadership or elite leadership training.

Until both individuals and ineffective leaders realize that advice is important and can be used positively, and that critiques can be helpful, and that none of us are perfect, needy individuals, in their personal lives, as well as ineffective, needy leaders will continue along a road to potential destruction.