One of the most important skills each of us need to develop and
enhance is to become a truly effective negotiator. In nearly every
aspect of our lives, business, personal, organization, etc., we very
often discover ourselves in a situation that rerquires negotiating
skills. Since there are very few, if any, scenarios when there is total
and complete agreement, we end up in some sort of negotiations if we
wish to get things accomplished. Imagine family situations, especially
either between siblings, between spouses, or between parent and
children, and think about how often there is a need to negotiate? Most
businesses need to make certain choices and/ or decisions on a daily
basis, if they are to progress in a meaningful basis. Perhaps one of the
biggest stumbling blocks that occur in politics is that there are a
dearth of political leaders that are effective negotiators. Perhaps the single most essential asset needed to be a great real estate professional, is the willingness and ability to be the best possible negotiator, understanding clearly what is needed, and created a perceived win - win scenario, etc., by all involved in the transaction. Those
desirous of becoming effective and meaningful negotiators should
prioritize the LURE of negotiating: listen; understand; repeat; empathize; and seize control of the situation.
1. It all begins with being an effective listener. This means that you not only pay attention and hear what others say, but commit to acquiring all necessary facts and information that will make you have more clarity.
2. While listening is an essential first step, unless it is followed by understanding what is both being said, and what is left unsaid, there is little opportunity to communicate in a manner that accomplishes one's goals and aspirations. This requires follow up questions that probe as deeply as possible, so as to realize the nuances and meanings that the other person is implying.
3. Once one feels that he has a clearer understanding of the needs, wants and position of the other person, there is a need to repeat what one believes is being said, doing so in the form of a question, in order to get agreement as to what needs to be discussed, and the issues involved.
4. While the first three steps are quite important, perhaps the most essential component and often overlooked one, is being empathetic. An individual must be empathetic without appearing sympathetic. Empathy may simply be considered as putting yourself in the other person's place (so as to better understand both how they feel and the needs), while sympathy is merely feeling sorry for someone (which may be appropriate in short doses in certain scenarios, but almost never in negotiating situations).
5. All of these preliminary steps need to culminate in a position where an effective negotiator is able to seize control of the situation. It is important to understand, however, that gaining control is far different than trying to negate the other party's needs. Rather, when you are able to maintain control, you can move the negotiation forward in progressive manner, striving for the goal of win - win results.
Since negotiating skills are so important, doesn't it make sense for each of us to become better at them? Therefore, doesn't it make sense to proceed in an orderly and organized manner, effectively using these five steps?
1. It all begins with being an effective listener. This means that you not only pay attention and hear what others say, but commit to acquiring all necessary facts and information that will make you have more clarity.
2. While listening is an essential first step, unless it is followed by understanding what is both being said, and what is left unsaid, there is little opportunity to communicate in a manner that accomplishes one's goals and aspirations. This requires follow up questions that probe as deeply as possible, so as to realize the nuances and meanings that the other person is implying.
3. Once one feels that he has a clearer understanding of the needs, wants and position of the other person, there is a need to repeat what one believes is being said, doing so in the form of a question, in order to get agreement as to what needs to be discussed, and the issues involved.
4. While the first three steps are quite important, perhaps the most essential component and often overlooked one, is being empathetic. An individual must be empathetic without appearing sympathetic. Empathy may simply be considered as putting yourself in the other person's place (so as to better understand both how they feel and the needs), while sympathy is merely feeling sorry for someone (which may be appropriate in short doses in certain scenarios, but almost never in negotiating situations).
5. All of these preliminary steps need to culminate in a position where an effective negotiator is able to seize control of the situation. It is important to understand, however, that gaining control is far different than trying to negate the other party's needs. Rather, when you are able to maintain control, you can move the negotiation forward in progressive manner, striving for the goal of win - win results.
Since negotiating skills are so important, doesn't it make sense for each of us to become better at them? Therefore, doesn't it make sense to proceed in an orderly and organized manner, effectively using these five steps?
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