Are You, In Control. or Overwhelmed?

Nearly every individual faces challenges and obstacles on a regular basis. We generally must determine whether we decide to opt to reduce our stress, and thus control our own destiny, or to let circumstances control and dictate to us, and thus become a reactor rather than an actor, letting circumstances overwhelm us by succumbing to these stresses. The reality is that there is no such thing as a stress - free existence, because without stress we cannot truly exist. Rather, it is important to understand what the late Nobel Prize Winner Dr. Hans Selye emphasized regarding there being two manners of stress: 1. Positive stress, or eustress, which we learn from and gain important knowledge, experiences and expertise; and 2. Negative or destructive stress, which we occurs because we handle circumstances ineffectively and permit to control us, rather than vice versa.

Whether, in our everyday, personal lives, or in our careers (business and volunteer), whether we are in control, or overwhelmed, often makes a significant difference in our results, as well as how we are perceived, by others!

1. Why does it appear that so many individuals seem so overwhelmed by everyday circumstances, events, and conditions? What does it say about the individual that becomes controlled by these conditions or scenarios, and spend his efforts and time reacting and going into crisis management (or control), rather than adapting to whatever life brings forth? Since nearly everyone has heard the adage about it being wise to convert life's lemons to lemonade, yet so many continuously avoid becoming proactive, how can these individuals even think they will maintain the ability to control their own destinies?

2. How often do you say, or have you heard others proclaim that they were overwhelmed by what happened? The most productive way to handle one's life more effectively is to reduce stress (or even the consideration of stress) by using individual challenges or obstacles to make oneself stronger, better and more productively. In order to do this, it is important to work on our personal attitudes, perspectives, self - talk, conscious and subconscious chatter (no more negative words, for example), and to demand that we are proactive and control, rather than resorting to the generally non - productive alternative of procrastination, self pity, self doubt, playing the blame game, or attempting to avoid personal responsibility.

It is important to realize that those who let circumstances overwhelm them will generally roll down that slippery slope of ever - decreasing self confidence and self pity. The "poor me" perspective, or blaming circumstances that we let others control, rarely serves anyone well!