Although we are born with two ears, and only one mouth, it
generally appears that most people speak far more often than they
actually listen. It is important to realize that there is a significant
difference between merely hearing, and actually listening, however.
While the act of hearing is, in and of itself, only an act of using one
of our senses (auditory), listening requires discipline, as well as
paying attention and hopefully being driven in an empathetic manner. The
five keys to effective listening include: 1. patience; 2. avoid the
temptation to interrupt; 3. listen and understand the actual meaning,
etc.; 4. truly empathize; and, 5. when you respond, do so both politely
and thoroughly.
1. It is important for each of us to understand that unless we are patient enough to avoid the somewhat natural tendency to interrupt, and remain patient, listening politely and attentively, and asking for clarification, we will rarely either develop any sort of personal bond, nor will we ever truly understand the concerns and cares of another person. Patience requires both discipline, as well as personal training, and usually needs to be practiced and must be part of an evolutionary personal development process.
2. Have you ever found yourself involved in a conversation where you keep thinking to yourself that you hope the other party gets to the point? It is valuable for each of us to understand that, for nearly everyone, their favorite topic or subject is about themselves, so exercising patience, and demanding if yourself that you pay complete attention, will help you learn information that you often will not otherwise be able to. We hear something and nearly impulsively react, rather than first assuring that we fully comprehend what is meant, rather than what we assume is being said.
3. Isn't it logical, therefore, to listen thoroughly first, and emphasize personal learning and comprehensive understanding, rather than impatiently interrupting and verbalizing one's personal point of view? Follow this simple procedure: Hear the entire thing someone wishes to express; Listen to all nuances, and pay attention to the non - verbal "tells," including body language, posture and facial expressions; Emphasize understanding in a non - judgmental manner.
4. Little is achieved when one merely sympathizes with someone else's woes! Rather, one should stress empathy, which rather than being a manifestation of pity, is a proactive attempt to put yourself in the other party's place.
5. However, solely following the first four steps is rarely truly productive or meaningful until, and unless, we commit to fully responding both politely as well as thoroughly and transparently. Effective listening must drive more meaningful and impactful communication!
If you want to be a better communicator, then begin to listen more! Stop, restrain yourself, and wait for others to express their thoughts, even if you disagree.
1. It is important for each of us to understand that unless we are patient enough to avoid the somewhat natural tendency to interrupt, and remain patient, listening politely and attentively, and asking for clarification, we will rarely either develop any sort of personal bond, nor will we ever truly understand the concerns and cares of another person. Patience requires both discipline, as well as personal training, and usually needs to be practiced and must be part of an evolutionary personal development process.
2. Have you ever found yourself involved in a conversation where you keep thinking to yourself that you hope the other party gets to the point? It is valuable for each of us to understand that, for nearly everyone, their favorite topic or subject is about themselves, so exercising patience, and demanding if yourself that you pay complete attention, will help you learn information that you often will not otherwise be able to. We hear something and nearly impulsively react, rather than first assuring that we fully comprehend what is meant, rather than what we assume is being said.
3. Isn't it logical, therefore, to listen thoroughly first, and emphasize personal learning and comprehensive understanding, rather than impatiently interrupting and verbalizing one's personal point of view? Follow this simple procedure: Hear the entire thing someone wishes to express; Listen to all nuances, and pay attention to the non - verbal "tells," including body language, posture and facial expressions; Emphasize understanding in a non - judgmental manner.
4. Little is achieved when one merely sympathizes with someone else's woes! Rather, one should stress empathy, which rather than being a manifestation of pity, is a proactive attempt to put yourself in the other party's place.
5. However, solely following the first four steps is rarely truly productive or meaningful until, and unless, we commit to fully responding both politely as well as thoroughly and transparently. Effective listening must drive more meaningful and impactful communication!
If you want to be a better communicator, then begin to listen more! Stop, restrain yourself, and wait for others to express their thoughts, even if you disagree.
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