We often perceive that one is great negotiator because of his
personal strength, commitment, ability and perseverance or persistence.
While all of these factors are needed and involved, one that is too
often overlooked is the need to be a superb, effective listener. When
someone listens carefully, he is able to understand more clearly the
needs of his negotiating adversary, and can better proceed to achieve a
meeting of the minds that nearly always determines the success of that
negotiation.
It is important to realize how essential negotiating is, in nearly every aspect of our lives! Spouses constantly negotiate with each other, and their children. Employers negotiate with their employees and vice versa! Real estate professionals negotiate with their customers, clients, other agents, etc. Physicians, dentists and attorneys often must negotiate. We negotiate when we put on/ host any event, whether it is a party in our home, an office party, conference/ convention planning, planning a wedding or family function, etc. Effective negotiating necessitates having the ability to:
1. clearly communicate the needs of both parties;
2. relate to not only the position you represent but also the opposing one;
3. have a willingness to thoroughly discuss needs and priorities;
4. sufficient communication needs and patience to explain your position; and, finally and perhaps most essentially,
5. listen to concerns in an empathetic manner.
A. What does communication mean as it relates to negotiations? Unless both parties clearly communicate their positions, it becomes nearly impossible to develop the needed atmosphere and forum to achieve needed objectives.
B. Can you relate to the other person or party's positions, needs and points of view? Unless someone is willing to dedicate himself to relate to and empathize with his adversary, how can they develop the path towards win - win negotiations?
C. Don't ever assume that the other party knows what you need, or that you know what they need! Rather, take the time to ask clarifying and informative questions, and get to know each other before you begin the nitty gritty of actual negotiating.
D. Once you've followed the first three steps in a thorough manner, take the time and effort to explain in detail what you're looking for, why it is so essential and important, and ask for feedback and give and take. The better both parties commit to the explanation process, the better the possibility of an impactful and meaningful agreement.
E. The previous steps all depend on this one. The basis of negotiations must be to listen to concerns, needs, and objections voiced. One reason that many negotiations break down is that the two sides interrupt each other, speak at instead of to each other (or even better, with each other!), and overlook needs, concerns, etc. In order for any negotiation to be successful, especially in the longer term, it must be approached from the point of view of win - win, rather than merely being oppositional or greedy. The better the two sides get to know each other, invariably, the better the results.
If you want to negotiate effectively, begin with being an effective listener! How can you possibly come to a meeting of the minds if you don't understand both sides of the position?
It is important to realize how essential negotiating is, in nearly every aspect of our lives! Spouses constantly negotiate with each other, and their children. Employers negotiate with their employees and vice versa! Real estate professionals negotiate with their customers, clients, other agents, etc. Physicians, dentists and attorneys often must negotiate. We negotiate when we put on/ host any event, whether it is a party in our home, an office party, conference/ convention planning, planning a wedding or family function, etc. Effective negotiating necessitates having the ability to:
1. clearly communicate the needs of both parties;
2. relate to not only the position you represent but also the opposing one;
3. have a willingness to thoroughly discuss needs and priorities;
4. sufficient communication needs and patience to explain your position; and, finally and perhaps most essentially,
5. listen to concerns in an empathetic manner.
A. What does communication mean as it relates to negotiations? Unless both parties clearly communicate their positions, it becomes nearly impossible to develop the needed atmosphere and forum to achieve needed objectives.
B. Can you relate to the other person or party's positions, needs and points of view? Unless someone is willing to dedicate himself to relate to and empathize with his adversary, how can they develop the path towards win - win negotiations?
C. Don't ever assume that the other party knows what you need, or that you know what they need! Rather, take the time to ask clarifying and informative questions, and get to know each other before you begin the nitty gritty of actual negotiating.
D. Once you've followed the first three steps in a thorough manner, take the time and effort to explain in detail what you're looking for, why it is so essential and important, and ask for feedback and give and take. The better both parties commit to the explanation process, the better the possibility of an impactful and meaningful agreement.
E. The previous steps all depend on this one. The basis of negotiations must be to listen to concerns, needs, and objections voiced. One reason that many negotiations break down is that the two sides interrupt each other, speak at instead of to each other (or even better, with each other!), and overlook needs, concerns, etc. In order for any negotiation to be successful, especially in the longer term, it must be approached from the point of view of win - win, rather than merely being oppositional or greedy. The better the two sides get to know each other, invariably, the better the results.
If you want to negotiate effectively, begin with being an effective listener! How can you possibly come to a meeting of the minds if you don't understand both sides of the position?
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