GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

One's "comfort zone" can be defined as doing only those things that makes one feel at ease. Different things make different individuals uncomfortable For some, their "comfort zone" excludes such things as: public speaking; making sales calls; selling; taking any controversial stand; making eye contact; and many other things. What is uncomfortable to one person may not at all be uncomfortable to another.

However, one is capable of expanding one's "comfort zone," if one really wants to. There are many different courses and techniques taught that address exactly this issue. Still others discuss improving one's self- confidence. In fact, an section known as P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) is available in many books stores as a sub- area of the self improvement sections.

One can take many of these excellent courses that offering including notable ones given by the Dale Carnegie Institute, Tom Hopkins, and many, many others. These courses work especially well because once an individual agrees to take one of these programs, the individual already has admitted needing help in terms of self improvement. However, probably the most important thing for one to do is simply to force himself to do something outside his "comfort zone."

The best programs begin with "baby steps," having one do small challenges to his "comfort zone." Once someone gets into the habit of expanding one's comfort zone, it is easier to expand it even further by then doing even more challenging adjustments.

Anyone can do more than they admit they can do. A famous anonymous philosopher once wrote, "As I think I am." If one puts himself in the proper frame of mind, sees things as "challenges" instead of "problems," and envisions success, one can expand one's "comfort zone," and become a much more effective individual.

You Can Help Others without Giving Money

In bad economic times, many worthwhile philanthropic endeavors suffer because potential donors possess far less discretionary income. However, there is a very important and effective way that individuals and businesses can help philanthropies and charities - - - volunteerism. Whether someone has suffered financially or not, most people are still capable of volunteerism. The Jewish religions uses two terms: (1) Tzedaka- meaning charity or helping, and; (2) Tikun Olam- meaning repairing the world.

By volunteering, individuals can make an important and valuable contribution. In today's economy, where governments are running huge deficits, and many worthwhile projects are being put "on hold" or eliminated completely, especially by local and state governments, charities need volunteers as well as contributions to fulfill their important missions. Individuals can volunteer their time and their own personal labor, to help philanthropies better cope by reducing their expenses. If a philanthropy (or charity) can save money on expenses, it can often "stretch" its funds further into important programing.

Some forms of volunteerism include: helping out with local community cleanups; working with others on local gardens; assisting in the office, etc., at one's house of worship; transporting elderly, etc. to the supermarket or pharmacy; joining the Board of a local philanthropy; "pitching in" wherever needed, etc. All of these efforts reduce local charities overall expenses in times when government grants and other contributions may have been reduced and/ or eliminated.

In difficult economic times, donors need to be selective in their donations. A donor should look at the charity/ philanthropy's financial information, to examine how much actually goes to programming. The higher the percentage that goes to programming, the more comfortable a prospective donor should and does feel. Some excellent local charities still have high operating costs as a percentage of revenues, and if one feels strongly about one of those organizations, the best way to make others want to donate, is by helping the organization reduce its overhead. That is another area where volunteerism is both necessary and worthwhile!

While economic conditions changed, and schemists like Madoff separated so many from their money, it is more important than ever for people to be as generous as they can afford, because charities need help even more in bad times than good. In bad economic times, charities need to stretch fewer dollars further because there are so many additional community needs that government has abandoned.

A donor should make sure that any philanthropy/ charity is responsibly discharging its duties, and striving to fulfill its mission, both effectively and inefficiently. Our politicians like to rhetorically support important causes, but many of these causes and mandates become unfunded, and charities and philanthropies must make up the funding differential. There are many religions that urge charity as a doctrine of its faith. If each of us would make a personal pledge to maintain a minimum percentage of donation, both in good time or bad, the world would be a better place and there would be less suffering.

I urge you to consider a regular volunteerism schedule. It is so easy to be well- meaning, but to procrastinate when it comes to personally volunteerism. If we each do a little better, so much more can be achieved.

 

Volunteerism is an important part of philanthropy

n bad economic times, many worthwhile philanthropic endeavors suffer because potential donors possess far less discretionary income. However, there is a very important and effective way that individuals and businesses can help philanthropies and charities - - - volunteerism. Whether someone has suffered financially or not, most people are still capable of volunteerism. The Jewish religions uses two terms: (1) Tzedaka- meaning charity or helping, and; (2) Tikun Olam- meaning repairing the world.

By volunteering, individuals can make an important and valuable contribution. In today's economy, where governments are running huge deficits, and many worthwhile projects are being put "on hold" or eliminated completely, especially by local and state governments, charities need volunteers as well as contributions to fulfill their important missions. Individuals can volunteer their time and their own personal labor, to help philanthropies better cope by reducing their expenses. If a philanthropy (or charity) can save money on expenses, it can often "stretch" its funds further into important programing.

Some forms of volunteerism include: helping out with local community cleanups; working with others on local gardens; assisting in the office, etc., at one's house of worship; transporting elderly, etc. to the supermarket or pharmacy; joining the Board of a local philanthropy; "pitching in" wherever needed, etc. All of these efforts reduce local charities overall expenses in times when government grants and other contributions may have been reduced and/ or eliminated.

In difficult economic times, donors need to be selective in their donations. A donor should look at the charity/ philanthropy's financial information, to examine how much actually goes to programming. The higher the percentage that goes to programming, the more comfortable a prospective donor should and does feel. Some excellent local charities still have high operating costs as a percentage of revenues, and if one feels strongly about one of those organizations, the best way to make others want to donate, is by helping the organization reduce its overhead. That is another area where volunteerism is both necessary and worthwhile!

While economic conditions changed, and schemists like Madoff separated so many from their money, it is more important than ever for people to be as generous as they can afford, because charities need help even more in bad times than good. In bad economic times, charities need to stretch fewer dollars further because there are so many additional community needs that government has abandoned.

A donor should make sure that any philanthropy/ charity is responsibly discharging its duties, and striving to fulfill its mission, both effectively and inefficiently. Our politicians like to rhetorically support important causes, but many of these causes and mandates become unfunded, and charities and philanthropies must make up the funding differential. There are many religions that urge charity as a doctrine of its faith. If each of us would make a personal pledge to maintain a minimum percentage of donation, both in good time or bad, the world would be a better place and there would be less suffering.

I urge you to consider a regular volunteerism schedule. It is so easy to be well- meaning, but to procrastinate when it comes to personally volunteerism. If we each do a little better, so much more can be achieved.

Sex Addiction- Or Cinvenient Excuse?

When David Duchovny, formerly from the X-Files, and presently starring in the Showtime show, Californication, reportedly said he suffered from sex addiction, it appeared somewhat funny. After all, Duchovny stars in a show who's basis is the pornographic industry. It appeared that he might have felt the need to publicize his addiction for some reason or another. However, now we are told that Tiger Woods is reportedly at a sex addiction clinic that uses a 12 Steps program similar to that used for alcoholism.

When Woods' reported trysts began to surface publicly, soon after the mysterious car accident/ golf club incident last Thanksgiving, many "sages" and "pundits" freely gave their advice and suggestions as to what Woods should do. I said to my wife that he should do the Eliot Spitzer/ Mark Sanford thing, and say that he had a problem and couldn't help himself. However, unlike Spitzer and Sanford, Woods had always been very tightly "handled," and his personal life was closely protected. Almost immediately, I said, 'Watch, he's going to go Duchovny."

Is sex addiction a real disease? Probably yes, but does that excuse the actions? It is reported that one of the conditions of the clinic that Woods is at, is that the person sign a form stating that he or she will not have sex with anyone else or self- satisfy sexually during the six week treatment period. Is it me, or does it seem ironic and funny that someone who has broken their "signed" marriage vow (and in Woods case, reportedly with many different partners), that this signed document will have any more meaning?

Frankly, I believe it is none of anyone else's business what Tiger Woods or any other celebrity does in their private lives. Unfortunately, Americans like to create heroes, and what that person turns out to be human, with all the frailties and failures that others have, we say we are disappointed? But, why should we be disappointed? Why did we make this person a hero, when all the person does is excel at their vocation?

Before he was caught and it was publicized, did Mr. Woods have any regrets about his trysts? Since the reports were that he was still sex-texting (or is that sexting?) the night of the accident (?), then his regret is more likely fear of loss (wife, kids, lots of money) than true regret. Yet, Mr. Woods, and everyone else in the public eye should be left alone by the media, to try to resolve his personal problems and issues. All I know is that when I was much younger, someone who had as many partners as reportedly Tiger did, was not called a sex addict. Years ago, when Wilt Chamberlain wrote of his many trysts, it was not called sex addiction, simply amazing.

There are many different degrees of disease. There are many different issues that one can use psychological help with. At least, in Tiger Woods' reported sex addiction trysts, nobody was hurt except Mr. Woods and his family! Since that is the case, the media should simply let him work it out with his family!

  

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What Dr King might have advised President Obama

For more than two decades, the United States has celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King's life by having a holiday in his honor. What might Dr. King have suggested to President Obama if Dr. King was still alive? Dr. King has become a historical icon and hero because of his leadership qualities, as well as his steadfast adherence to concepts such as peaceful protests and demonstrations, and his vision of what could and should be in America.

Martin Luther King, in his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech in 1964, said, "I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality."He then continued, "I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits."

So, what advice and suggestions might Dr. King have given President Obama if he was alive today? There are many different theories of what Dr. King would suggest, but based on the man's life and words, one must believe that he would emphasize to the President that the number one priority at this time must be addressing the joblessness rate. I believe that Dr. King would have emphasized education stressing reinvigorating the American workforce, and suggesting that the United States had to lead the way in the fields of alternative energy development and utilization, and other fields that were forward- thinking. I believe that he would advocate for a public (government)/ private (the business community) effort to restore America's position in the word, by leading by example.

Dr. King was anti- war, and let protests against the war in Vietnam, because he felt that diplomacy be more effective, and less costly both in terms of human loss and financial costs. He would probably urge the President to explore diplomatic solutions and multinational solutions in Afghanistan and Iraq, rather than sending in and committing more troops.

Dr. Martin Luther King also believed that one must not only "talk the talk," but must also "walk the walk." For this freason, I believe that Dr. King would have felt that the health insurance effort as it will invariably end up if passed, will be at best a compromise bill, that will not fulfill many of the visions of the original effort. He was also a pragmatist, and would stress that promoting an imperfect bill that the majority of Americans indicate they oppose (in polls) would not substantially improve health care or delivery. and would take away attention from the priority issue of restoring and creating jobs, improving education, and reducing polarkization in the United States. I believe that Dr. King would believe that without a secure economy and a reassured public, that there would not be any real benefits to the people that most needed the assistance.

Dr. King would be proud of the American public's leadership on helping Haiti and others after catastrophes, and would certainly have been in the forefront of that effort. I believe that he would have felt that more can be accomplished by creating open conversation that forcing something through with political maneuvering. Unfortunately, while surely Dr. King must have been one of President Obama's idols, the President has not yet shown the statesmanship that Dr. King would have urged him to. The American public can hope that the President grows as a statesman in the next few years, and puts statesmanship ahead of politics, as Dr. King would have certainly recommended and urged.

What you should require from a consultant!

When a company, organization, business, or any other entity uses the services of a consultant, they are entitled to certain specific services and other things. All too often, consultants are chosen based on perceived credentials, or fancy jargon or rhetoric, rather than on what the consultant can accomplish. Generally, a consultant who relies on lots of jargon, is simply trying to "sell" himself as an expert, and, very often, it is not the technical expertise, but the practical, hands-on, common sense applicability of a consultant's suggestions and observations that is the most valuable. Remember that anyone can spout technical jargon - much of it is widely available on the internet. In order to select a consultant, you need to feel comfortable with that individual.

The first step is for you to ask a lot of questions, and listen carefully to the answers. If a consultant is doctrinaire that there is only one way, or one solution to use in a situation, you should probably avoid that individual. You do not want your consultant to approach your challenge with any pre-conceived notions of what you should do. A good consultant must first and foremost be an excellent listener. He must also ask you questions so he is clear on what you are looking for. You also want to know what procdedure or steps the consultant plans to use to serve you. How long will the process take? What will the consultant be doing during that period? What will the consultant expect of you to complete the specified task?

Don't be afraid to ask what it will cost, but remember that using the wrong consultant will often cost you far more than the fee differential. What will the consultant provide you with? Will the consultant be available to you after the completion of the project, and what will that fee be?

If the consulting issue is finance related, how will what this consultant does differ from the services of your other financial professionals, such as your accountant, financial planner, and stock broker? Will the consultant want to speak to these other professionals in the course of his consultancy.

Don't be overly dependent upon recommendations offered. The reality is that almost anyone can supply the names of positive recommendors. Make certain that you sign a formal agreement with the consultant specifying exactly what services are being provided, and the related fees.

You are hiring a consultant to help you or your organization. It is proper to have certain expectations. Make sure both you and the consultant clearly understand the expectations and parameters of the consultation, and what report(s) will be provided at the end of the consulting period.

Be realistic in your expectations. Do not expect the consultation to be either a magic elixir, or the cure-all. A good consultant will observe, ask questions, make suggestions, and provide alternatives. If you use a consultant, the only way it will be worthwhile is if you then follow through with implementing those expectations. Don't hire a consultant just to hire one. Think about what you want, and what are realistic expectations.

Don't get fooled by rhetoric or glitz! What matters in consulting is helping you achieve specific needs and goals!

  

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New Year's Resolutions

Every year, many of us make New Year's Resolutions, which at the time we make them, most of us are being sincere. But, what happens? Have you broken any of your resolutions yet? If you have not, you are probably in the minority.

New Year's resolutions are very similar to "atoning for our sins." We are most sincere when we ask forgiveness, but most of us continue to commit transgressions. In the Jewish religion, perhaps realizing man's weaknesses, the high holiday of Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) is dedicated to the realization that we have transgressed and hoping that we begin the new year fresh. The high holiday of Yom Kippur (the Day of Attonement, which follows shortly after Rosh Hashanah in the Jewish calendar) is a period when the Jewish people basically tell G-d that they know they have transgressed, and please forgive that, and that they know they will once again have failings, and please forgive that, in advance.

We make New Year's resolutions because it basically makes us feel good. It gives us hope that we will positively address our shortcomings during the next year. Most people make these resolutions in earnest, whether it be to be a better parent, friend, child or spouse; be more responsible; lose weight; break a bad habit; etc. And we begin the year, with actually addressing these issues that, at least at the moment we made the resolutions, seemed important to us. However, then reality comes into play.

We say we want to lose weight, and begin the new year on some sort of weight reduction program, only to have either lack of time, everyday stress, extraordinary circumstances, or human weakness take over, and we revert to our habits that originally caused the condition that we now want to overcome! We want to be more patient, and then something "sets us off," and we once again revert to our previous ways. We want to, in some other way, be a better person this year, but, for most of us, we eventually revert to kind.

So, what's the solution? One could stop making resolutions, but that would me to not set goals to attempt to attain. Some achieve their resolutions, or at least part of them, so not making resolutions would seem self- defeating. I believe that what we should do is set short- term, intermediate- term, and long- term goals, but instead of merely making resolutions, create a plan, a flow sheet, a manner of realistically accomplishing the goals. Positive reinforcement and imagery is most helpful, and one of the best ways to accomplish a goal is to use "affirmation" methods, positive visualization (even implementing putting pictures on your refrigerator that positively motivates you), and wording the goals or resolutions, to achieve to the maximum.

A wise man said, "As I think I am," and positive thinking, and looking at something you want to change as a challenge instead of a problem, is a major first step! Don't be concerned if you have already broken some resolutions. If it's important to you, you can rededicate yourself to accomplishing the task. The first step is to realistically look at the situation, and at yourself, and come up with a plan. Motivational speakers often say, "Whatever the mind of man can perceive and conceive, it can achieve." You can do it!