Most People Like To Be Thanked

Whether you consider something major or small, one of the most important acts that one can do is indicating appreciation for something done by someone else, for you. Most people tend to ignore minor acts of kindness, and only recognize more major events. However, often the recognition of something seemingly "minor" or "mundane" is more important than the major thanks. During my Leadership Training Seminars, I almost always devote a section to the "Art of 'AttaBoy'" or why thanking volunteers is so essential. Leaders must always keep in mind that the very nature of someone volunteering means that one should be grateful for whatever assistance might be offered, because no one has to volunteer.

We often attend some event or Gala where the speaker recognizes certain individuals for their assistance in some activity or other. Usually, some of the individuals mentioned are most deserving of the recognition and appreciation, while others were simply "on the committee," or those that the speaker felt it was "proper" or "politically correct" to recognize. Doing this "mass thanks" significantly diminishes both the impact and the sincerity of the thanks. Obviously, most speakers privately express greater appreciation to those that have done more, but invariably (and almost unavoidably) there are usually omissions. While many individuals help because they "want to," others that also want to, expect to be, at least, appreciated. Generally, because of the flurry of activity at these types of events, it is very difficult to avoid "slighting" someone. I have spent countless hours working with leaders, urging them to keep copious notes, to avoid as many of these omissions as possible. Unfortunately, while an individual might not ever mention the "slight," it almost invariably adversely impacts that volunteer's efforts in the future. Since qualified volunteers do not come forward in droves, it is very important to "cherish" those that do.

How many of us effortlessly and honestly thank individuals who routinely do things, both major and minor, for us, either on an ongoing basis, or a one-time basis. Many parents, spouses and children privately express that they "feel taken for granted." The next time a family member, or friend, shows you any "unforced and sincere act of kindness," thank them. They will probably not expect the thanks, but human nature is that people enjoy being appreciated.

When you go to a restaurant, and the waiter or waitress provides superior service, do you thank him? If the server seems to "go the extra mile" without prodding, and does so in a pleasant manner, do you acknowledge it? Have you ever told the owner or manager of a restaurant how "great" that server was? At the office, to you ever say thank you to a fellow worker who either helps you, or does something for you? Imagine how great that person would feel if you did?

If a postal worker, or delivery person provides superior service, or simply provides good service, but in a pleasant manner, have you ever said "thanks"? Do you return the favor, and assist others without being prodded? Do you always attempt to provide your best effort in all circumstances.

Unsolicited acts of human kindness are extremely important to interpersonal relations, as well as creating a friendly, warm and caring atmosphere. If we would all thank others more often, we would certainly have a kinder, gentler society, where individuals were far more apt to help others. Saying thanks is a small but meaningful gesture!

THANKSGIVING THANKS

Thanksgiving 2009 is a sadder year than most for many Americans. With the U.S. and most of the world in a deep recession, with high unemployment, with over 100,000 Americans still in "harms way" in battles in Iraq and Afghanistan, I believe it is more important than ever to step back and give thanks for our many blessings.
We should be grateful for the fact that Americans have more freedoms than almost any other place on the planet. We have the right to protest. We have the right to criticize our government. We have the right to elect our political leaders, and to vote out any politician that we are unhappy with. We have the ability to force politicians to better represent us by being vocal in our support or opposition of any policy.
Only in America, where we have free and democratic elections, do our citizens have the right to vote, and yet, in most elections, less than half of the eligible voters exercise that right. Here in Nassau County, NY, they are still counting the last of the votes in our County Supervisor race, and after over 240,000 votes have been counted, there is only a 160 vote difference. Now, when you consider that less than half the eligible voters actually voted, we can clearly say that whoever wins certainly has no mandate. But, we should be thankful that we have the rights!
Only in America, can I or anyone else, have the right to publish a blog, and as long as nothing illegal, libelous or slanderous is said, not worry about the legal ramifications! Only in America, can a former unknown become "famous" from a TV competition although finishing second, and then perform a controversial act on television that forced ABC to decide to cancel his morning GMA appearance, only to have CBS decide to have him on BOTH their morning, as well as their late night Letterman shows.
Only in America can we dwell on the negatives of the economy, and at the same time have Tiffany announce both revenues and earnings that far exceeded expectations.
Only in America, can we talk about the difficulty this year in keeping food pantries stocked sufficiently to feed the many feeling the pinch from the economy, and at the same time have Black Friday Christmas sales promotions all over the media.
Only in America can we talk about health care, yet have various solutions discussed that only address parts of the problem, while in some cases not considering the ramifications of some of the "solutions."
Only in America can we talk about justice for all, yet the justice that the wealthy, middle class, and poor enjoy is certainly often NOT the same justice!
Yet, with all its faults, we are lucky to be living in America. Here we can complain, we can argue, we can be charitable. Americans are amongst the most charitable people in the world, and in times of distress, have a long history of coming through. On this Thanksgiving holiday, we should all give thanks that we live in the U.S.