How Should Leaders Close?: May I Make A Suggestion?

Although, many in positions of leadership, don't seem to want to acknowledge it, much of what an effective leader does, involves selling, and sales! Whether it involves dealings with other leaders, constituents, stakeholders (or potential ones), how effectively one motivates, and inspires, others, in terms of his, call - to - action, often, makes a significant difference, between quality leadership, and the same - old, same - old. With that in mind, this article will attempt to briefly examine, review, consider, and discuss, the 5 steps, involved in addressing any concern, and/ or answering most questions, and focus upon, the key, 6th, fall - back, step, which involves asking, May I make a suggestion?, and then, waiting for acknowledgment, and proceeding effectively.

1. Repeat/ identify: Either because of a lack of sufficient, self - confidence, or, less than optimal, judgment, imagination, and/ or expertise, we often witness, impatience, dominating over, patience, and waiting, for the concerned party, to fully explain, what he wants answered, to his satisfaction. Therefore, begin by repeating, and stating, what you believe is the issue, and waiting for acknowledgment, what you believe is the concern, actually is. Too often, we respond, too soon, and provide answers, to questions, never asked, and often, not considered, and, by doing so, open upon, the challenging, Pandora's Box. Only when you know, for sure, should you proceed.

2. Empathy: Don't confuse sympathy, with empathy! Sympathy is expressing, you feel sorry, and send your best wishes, while empathy, is listening effectively, and learning/ discovering what that individual is concerned about, and clearly articulating, you relate, and can feel their pain. A successful expression, often, is, I can perfectly understand how you feel. I would feel (or felt) that way, and so would most people, until I realized a few things.

3. Answer thoroughly: Pseudo - leaders replace viable solutions, etc, with empty rhetoric and promises! In this stage, be certain to explain/ respond/ answer their question and/ or concern, to their satisfaction, not merely to yours. Realize others may not have the knowledge and/ or insights/ understanding, you possess, so slowly, patiently, respond, directly, and clearly, and wait for some acknowledgment, the concerned party, understands, where you are coming from, and your rationale/ reasoning!

4. Recreate need: Once you've successfully executed, these first 3 steps, it's important to regain control of the discussion, and bring it back to what you seek to achieve, or, your call - to - action. A simple, effective phrase, should assist you, in doing so, such as, In light of your concerns, and the additional insights you now possess, as well as the importance of this concept.

5. Close: No matter how well you perform the steps, above, unless/ until you close, and get others, to buy - into, your approach, and share ideas, you haven't led them, to anything, concrete, and/ or meaningful! A simple phrase, such as, Doesn't it make sense, creates a seamless, effective presentation.

6. May I make a suggestion?: Often, you might present in a quality manner, yet find, others, unwilling to commit to some sort of action. This is when you use, this essential, 6th step, and say, May I make a suggestion? Once you say this, do not continue speaking, until the other party, nods, or says, go ahead, etc. If you're patient, and proceed this way, I have found, in my, over 4 decades of involvement in leadership, selling, and training, nearly everyone, will give their permission. This is important, because, hopefully, it will create a habit of agreeing, or at least, some additional focus, Then, go over the 5 steps, in a clear - cut, inspiring, motivating, personal way, and seek some common ground, and meeting, of the minds!

Used properly and effectively, this technique has the potential to become a leader's best friend! Are you willing to effectively learn how to use it, practice, and feel comfortable, enough, to depend on it, whenever circumstances, indicate you will become more effective, doing so?

May I Make A Suggestion?

It is both quite common and usual for people having a discussion about almost anything to disagree. Often, the real obstacle is that they are not effectively communicating with each other. Numerous studies of interpersonal relationships and communications indicate that most disagreements and arguments begin because it is unclear to one part or another what the other party is really saying, or really wants. One of the most under-developed skills we have is our ability to effectively listen, and when we don't listen, misunderstandings often occur.

Probably the most undeveloped human characteristic is the ability to be a good listener. The next most undeveloped characteristic is our ability to calmly discuss a difference of opinion. If we start with the premise that everyone is entitled to his own opinion, and that we are all equally entitled to disagree with someone's opinion, then understanding that yelling and screaming rarely solves anything, and usually causes an escalation of the dispute. The first lesson one should learn is to let the other person "fully vent" their opinion, and not to interrupt. Understanding how difficult that is, it means that we each need to practice it even more! Once the other person "takes a rest," instead of arguing, ask some simple probing questions, such as, "Why do you believe that?" or "Isn't there some other alternative?" Listen intently, and then try to summarize what you think the crux of the person's premise is, and the ask, calmly, "In other words, you are saying that . . ." Then Z.T.L. ("zip the lip") and wait for a response, again before stating your own opinion. What you are inferring from the comments might not in any way be what the other person means to imply, so it is essential to truly identify the other person's point. Once you feel that you understand the positions, utilize the 5 steps to overcoming objections as discussed in my previous Ezine article, about the steps to answering an objection.

Once you've perfected the proper and effective use of the 5 steps, there is one additional important step for you to consider. That is to simply say, "May I make a suggestion?" Human nature is such that even if the other person neither wants to hear your suggestion nor in any way agrees with you in any manner, that they will agree to this, as long as you say nothing after asking this question. These 5 words can be the most powerful words if used correctly, especially if used in conjunction with the 5 steps.