Natural Alternatives for Stress Relief

For close to two decades, I was either in management, development, marketing or training of the use of natural health products as an alternative to conventional techniques. I have appeared on over 200 radio and television programs, and written a book published by Safe Goods Publishing in 1995, Natural Alternatives To Stress Relief.

Stress is a natural occurrence in everyday life. More prescription drugs are sold in the United States for stress and depression - related problems than for anything else. However, there is another approach for handling everyday stress, that does not require drugs. One of the definitions of stress offered by Dictionary.com is "physical, mental or emotional strain or tension." There are quite a number of "natural" approaches to stress that have been proven to be quite effective is assisting with coping, especially in mild to moderate cases. Some of these include:

(1) Relaxation exercises - - these exercises help to clear "stressed minds," relax stressed muscles, calm one's breathing, and slow down racing heartbeats.

(2) Music therapy - - for many individuals, there is nothing as relaxing as listening to music. Music can be calming in a number of ways. Music can serve as a "temporary escape," and help one to refocus away from whatever is the cause of the stress.

(3) Rest - - sometimes all that's needed. Very often, when someone has not slept well or had enough sleep (whatever is enough for them), it stresses them.

(4) Breathing exercises - - there are a variety of exercises that have been proven to be quite relaxing.
(5) Self- talk - - using techniques such as Affirmation Lists, Positive Mental Attitude, and other self-talk techniques, can often be extremely relaxing and stress- reducing. I have previously published articles on Affirmation Lists and Positive Mental Attitude.

(6) Natural remedies, including: 

(a) Massage therapy- often reduces stress by reducing muscle tension, and slowing one down, thus relaxing them.

(b) Aromatherapy - many have found using this therapy to effectively reduce stress.

(c) Acupuncture / acupressure - often removes negative "energies," or "chis," thus reducing aches, pain and anxiety.

(d) The Bach Flower Remedies - - I have extensively written about these in my book, Natural Alternatives for Stress Relief (published by Safe Goods in 1995, as well as in several published magazine articles. These remedies were discovered around 1930 by the British physician, Dr. Edward Bach, who found 38 wildflowers that, when made into essences, were extremely helpful in handling a variety of different emotional upsets. Dr. Bach also created a five- flower combination for stress relief that he called his Rescue Remedy. This five-flower combination is now manufactured under a variety of brand names. In my book, I go through a thorough discussion on the use of Dr. Bach's essences, as well as a variety of other natural stress relieving alternatives.

There is no one way to relieve stress. When the stress is acute enough, it is important to immediately contact a competent, trusted health professional. When stress is chronic, treatment should be dictated by degree of functionality or dysfunctionality. Each individual must determine for himself which approach is best for his situation. However, I feel it is important for people do realize that drugs are not always the only solution!

5 Questions You Must Answer, To Become A Better Time Manager

How effectively someone handles and utilizes his time, often becomes the essential difference between ineffectual and effective leadership! The reality is that being a leader, at times, may potentially overwhelm someone, if he permits obstacles, challenges, and other distractions, to dominate his mindset, course of action, and his precious time. In my over three decades of identifying, qualifying, training, developing and consulting to well over a thousand individuals in either actual or potential positions of leadership, I have often observed some otherwise, extremely talented, prepared and ready individuals, end up with far less than stellar results, predominantly because they were unable to master and/or control their time management. In order to assist those who want to lead, in their quest to best handle this component, I have created five questions that someone should objectively, and introspectively, ask himself, and proceed to thoroughly answer thoroughly. How much time does the average person waste? Is quality merely about the amount of time one spends, or how effectively it is expended? Doesn't it make sense that the best leader, real estate professional, fiancial representative, consultant, etc, will perform better and more effectively, when he is more stress - free, and can balance his business and personal time, in a quality of life, personally self - fulfilling manner?

1. What is the result you desire? How can you effectively plan, in an efficient way, unless you begin with a focus on the solutions, and results, you wish to accomplish and/or achieve? When you know what you hope to do, you are then capable of effectively planning, in a clear-cut, directed, meaningful way. Effective time management must start with realistic, relevant goals, and a solution leadership approach!

2. What steps need to be taken? Human nature is such, that we often become overwhelmed, when we only look at the longer-term needs, and fail to break our plans down into easily digested, manageable steps. Understand and follow the adage which tells us, You know how to eat the elephant? One bite at a time? Breaking one's action plan down into components, permits us to measure progress, and gain positives, for small steps, which tend to motivate most of us, to persist and persevere.

3. How do you know if you're on the right track? By measuring incremental progress, and reviewing, on a regular basis, a leader becomes better capable of balancing when to persist, versus when to change one's course of action. Know what needs to be done, each step along the way, and you will stop wasting lots of time.

4. Can you discipline yourself to stay on track? What will you do to minimize time-wasting distractions? Some of these include: beginning all meetings on-time, and making it clear that you expect others to follow suit, and that you consider time to be precious; only take telephone calls at specific times; avoid over-looking at your Smartphone, and schedule specific times for that activity; avoid interruptions, etc.

5. Can you avoid distractions that waste time? Develop a system that works for you, and that you will stick to! These include: taking calls; returning calls; meetings agendas/disciplines; texting policy; email reviewing; conversations; etc. Be certain to schedule some down-time (or personal time), so as to avoid burning out, frustration, and wasting time.

Great leaders are invariably superb time managers! Create a methodology that will work best for you!

Before You Hire A Consultant - Get A Guarantee of Services, In Writing!

Since I have been involved in various aspects of consulting, and the consulting industry for over three decades, I have come into contact with many people who portray themselves as an expert in some field, who often charge substantial consulting fees, often without delivering a client's desired results. Part of this results from miscommunication, where clients are uncertain as to their needs, and therefore often hire consultants in the wrong aspects of their business. Other times, organizations have unrealistic expectations, anticipating benefits that are nearly unreachable. Anyone considering utilizing the services of a consultant should first clearly identify what they perceive as their most pressing needs, as well as clearly articulating their visions and goals, and the mission of the organization.Without that being done, the chances of receiving assistance, even from the finest consultant, is extremely limited and hindered. Anyone you hire to represent you, who will receive a fee, commission or other monetary consideration, including real estate professionals, financial service representatives, sales reps, etc, should be evaluated and considered, using a mindset such as the following.

What should you be looking for in hiring a consultant, do you really need one, and what should you expect/ demand from the consultant you hire?

1. Many organizations hire consultants based on fancy presentations, promises made, and rhetoric offered. I have observed countless organizations spend substantial sums of money, time, and other resources, hiring and following the recommendations of a particular consultant. Before committing to this, an organization should ask itself what benefits it will receive from these suggestions, and how long it will take to recoup its costs. They should also consider its Return on Investment (R.O.I.) on a short- term, intermediate term, and longer term base. They should consider both the positive, as well as the negative ramifications of following these decisions.

2. What kinds of guarantees is the consultant willing to provide to the organization? When my company and I consult in the area of event/ conference planning and negotiations, we offer a guarantee. Our guarantee has been, and will always be, that we will save an organization more money that our total fee, while providing far more value for their event, and will also dramatically decrease the anxiety, angst, effort, time and other resources previously expended by the organization, while enhancing their marketing and creating a more value and event driven event. The guarantee is rather simple- if we don't do what we guarantee, we do not get paid. Do your consultants offer this type of peace of mind?

3. Don't over- depend on what some consulting organizations often pad their resumes with. Fancy jargon is not generally what is needed. For example, I have never witnessed an organization that is floundering get turned around and righted simply by addressing its governance model, yet I have often observed organizations spend an inordinate amount of time, energy and resources in those areas, seeming to expect stellar results. While certain governance models work better for some groups than others, and governance may, at times, be one area to address, until an organization reviews itself in its entirety, there is rarely any meaningful change. Seek a consultant with a big picture philosophy and approach.

When a consultant quotes a fee, ask what it includes, and for how long. How much continuous guidance, tweaking, etc., will the consultant offer? Beware of anyone who portrays himself as a consultant who offers an opinion prematurely! True and meaningful consulting only comes when a consultant is an effective listener, who asks probing questions, and communicates clearly why he suggests certain things, and what should be gained by it. A consultant must also be willing to discuss both the risks/ ramifications of acting, as well as the danger of delay (if any). Great consulting is a balancing act, and requires someone who is strong and confident enough in his ability to stand behind his services, and guarantee it in some manner.

Is Business Ethics, An Oxymoron?

We often read and hear references to business ethics. Undergraduate and post graduate courses dedicate large amounts of time and resources to the topic. However, if one were to ask the average consumer if he believed that most businesses were conducted in an ethical manner, we would predominately receive negative responses. Simply stated, ethics can be defined as doing the right thing, the moral thing, and treating others with honor and respect. Related to business, this concept would include several items, and when we evaluate how most businesses conducted business, we would often avoid referring to these practices as moral.

1. One of the necessities of being ethical is telling the truth. However, when we look at how businesses, services and products are often promoted, the truth is stretched rather thin. One example, of course is the mobile communications or cell phone industry. Each carrier runs ads trying to convince us how superior they are. However, since there are no legal requirements even for using terminology such as "4G," and each carrier handles their lines differently, there is often quite a bit of variation. For example, going strictly by its ads, one would believe that Verizon cellular service is nearly perfect. Its advertisements makes claims about the clarity of its calls, how few calls are dropped, its speed, etc. While that is the case in some areas, several of my friends on Verizon service experience dropped calls, etc., in various areas, while having excellent service in others. ATT Mobility claims its system is fastest, and in some areas it is. I use the system and have had wonderful experience, yet, I know others who have been extremely disappointed. Sprint customers have similar experiences, and I have had wonderful experience with Sprint's Air Card, which works well nearly everywhere I've used it. However, as good as it is, it is certainly not as quick as wired or WI-FI service. Every other service has its proponents, as well as its attackers. The issue is not which service is the best, but rather how the services promote themselves. While effective advertising is self promotional by definition, misleading ads are certainly not terribly ethical.

2. Have you ever gone into a store and purchased something, and the store quickly asks you if you'd like to purchase an Extended Warranty. While there is nothing wrong with offering this, nor with the stores making additional revenues doing so, have you ever been given a clear cut explanation of what is and is not covered, and the limitations. Remember, we are discussing ethics here!

3. Investment Advisers are another area of ethical concern. Is the individual an unbiased adviser, or is he simply a salesman disguising himself as an adviser? Both duties and functions are acceptable, but which is ethical?

4. In Real Estate, does the average buyer truly understand the difference between being represented by a Buyers Agent, a Brokers Agent, and a Sellers Agent? In New York State, for example, by law, prospective buyers must be given an Agency Agreement that explains each of these. Yet, if the average buyer truly understood the differences, one would think the vast majority would prefer using a Buyers Agent, whose loyalty is directly to the buyer. Is this an ethical dilemma?

There are so many situations in business where there is the opportunity for a business, product, or representative to opt to either prioritize ethical behavior, or to merely do what might be expedient and in the store (or business, product, or reps) best interest, rather than the customer (or buyer). Therefore, one must wonder if business ethics is another one of those oxymorons, such as military intelligence, moral politician, etc.

Selling Is Both An Art, & A Science!

When I first started in the investment and financial services field, more than three decades ago, the most productive representative in the company had a poster displayed prominently on the wall to his office that read, "Selling is like shaving. If you don't do it everyday, you're a bum!" The essence of that poster has remained "engraved" in my mind ever since, and that is, that yesterday's conquests are simply old news, and one must successfully do the same thing repeatedly in order to truly be a professional and an expert.

As I have trained many others in a variety of fields, including selling and marketing, training, management, leadership, negotiations, and many other areas since then, I have always incorporated the themes of everything in life being some sort of sales, and that effective selling is both an art and a science. Those who are either real estate professionals, or financial services representatives, must realize they must know, and utilize, both the technical aspects of selling, closing the deal, etc, as well as maintaining and enhancing their personal skills and abilities, so to best serve the needs of their customers and clients.
 
Why do I call selling both an art and a science? A science is something rather precise, and proper sales technique is extremely regimented. The best salespeople use the same proven technique each and every time they give a presentation. Of course, after a while, it seems like it is second nature to them, but it is still a very exact, precise, thought-out and proven methodology.

On the other hand, two individuals can follow the same basic "scientific" technique, and achieve vastly different results. That is why I am stating that selling is also an art. The most effective salespeople relate well to others, and understand human nature. Many of the top salesmen of all time have stated that selling is only a small percentage technical, while being predominantly understanding human nature.

The most effective salespeople are friendly, without being phony, and professional without being starchy and stuffy. Effective selling requires a sales person to do his homework to understand the needs of the individual he is selling to, and tailoring his presentation to address the other party's "hot button." The "hot button" is that set of circumstances, wording, and motivation that gets the other individual's attention, and motivates them to action.

Few people are actually born salespeople. While some people are more extroverted than others, and some feel more comfortable in a sales situation, these behaviors can be trained and made part of anyone desiring to become a more effective salesperson.

Motivated individuals learn the techniques, practice them, and make them part of their own persona. I have trained individuals who began as the shyest, least articulate and outgoing individuals, and developed them into professional, talented and successful sales professionals.

Once someone learns all the techniques, and then combines those "sciences" with the "art" of understanding human nature, he can and will be an elite sales professional. That is, as long as he does it every day!

Being A Good Team Player, Does Not Mean Blind Obedience!

There is an adage that "there is no I in team," and while an over-simplification, is often the essence of effectively getting a project done, and done well. Many people confuse being a "good team player" with not taking any individual initiative. "Team players" that follow that kind of behavior rarely benefit their team or organization, but merely are often using the "team player" concept as a justification for not doing what's expected or needed of them. A good "team player" works with others in the group toward a common goal or vision, and each individual works either alone or with others toward the satisfactory completion of certain goals. However, being a "team player" certainly does not mean that an individual should "blindly" agree with others, if he has good reason to believe that he is right, and that their decision is neither well thought-out, nor beneficial to the organization.

In order to be a good "team player," one must understand the organizations needs, mission and vision. This is true, whether the organization is a for - profit, or a not - for - profit group! For example, a real estate professional must have a loyalty and belief that his broker is the best, and benefits clients, but that, in the final analysis, it is what he does, or fails to do, that makes the difference between good and great! The individual must listen carefully and fully "buy into" the organization's significance. This individual must subordinate his own ego to the good of the group, and use his abilities to help the group. If the individual disagrees with the way the organization is going about achieving its goals, either believing the current methods being used are either incomplete, ineffective, or could be improved using another technique, it is the responsibility of that individual to respectfully approach the group and voice his concerns. This does not mean blaming anyone and certainly does not mean bead-mouthing anyone or anything. It means effectively explaining his case, and why changing the approach will improve the effectiveness and ability to achieve the organization's goals.

Unfortunately, all too often, individuals will accuse someone who disagrees with them of not being a good "team player." Very often, there is nothing further from the truth! If one really cares about an organization's mission, he will attempt to improve its ability to successfully achieve its goals, rather than simply following the less effective "status quo."

There is a big difference between trying to improve an organization to make it more effective, and making radical changes that changes the organization's identity, often abandoning the mission (or reason for being) of that organization. There is a clear and distinct difference between evolution and revolution. All organizations need to evolve and adapt to changing times, by improving the way certain things are done. Organizations that do that live on for a very long time, and continue to achieve and merit belonging. As I've evaluated numerous organizations over the last three decades, I have noticed that in most cases, organizations that follow the "revolutionary" approach nearly always fail, because many of their most loyal and fervent followers and supporters feel a sense of abandonment, and the reason (justification) for the organization's existence (which is its mission) no longer continues in a recognizable form.

Organizations need "team players," while nurturing leaders who have the vision to work with members for the common good of that organization, and especially, the stakeholders, constituents, and/ clients and customers!

Optimizing Your Negotiating Attitude & Behavior

In the more than three decades that I have been involved in a variety of different negotiations, I have observed and witnessed a variety of different negotiating styles, attitudes and behaviors. When an experienced negotiator is involved, he understands that negotiating is actually both an art and a science, and requires doing one's homework, understanding human nature, being firm and tough but fair, treating other parties with both respect and honesty, etc.


Far too often, someone who thinks they can negotiate, and get a "better deal" takes a negotiating stance that might actually initially "win" certain points that a more experienced and expert negotiator would not. One of those reasons is that an expert understands that most negotiations are not "one shot" situations, and require developing a working relationship, over a period of time. Expert negotiators will therefore generally prioritize "demands" so as to "give back" a little on less important points, in order to be in a stronger position on more essential points.

Those in the process of interviewing, evaluating and selecting the best real estate professional to serve their needs, should understand that, perhaps the single most relevant asset and quality of you real estate professional, should be their willingness and ability, to negotiate, in your behalf and best interests, professionally and excellently!
 
When this process is not done on a "win-win" basis, there is almost never a realistic chance that the agreement will be maximally successful over time. The art of a negotiations is predominantly a human relationships study, where both sides must walk away from the agreement feeling they did alright, and that the negotiation and the result was both fair and equitable. However, let me make perfectly clear that one should negotiate every point and gain maximum benefit, but that those that make demands that will "hurt" the other party, are doing both sides an injustice. The experienced negotiator will study his opponent and know the strengths, weaknesses and needs of the other party. By doing this, he will be able to know where there is more bargaining or "wiggle" room, and where the other party has less room. The best way to maximize results is to openly discuss how both parties can reduce their expenses, and maximize their situation (either profits or costs), without adversely impacting the other. This may require compromise on both sides, or "thinking outside the box," to arrive at different ways to achieve certain needs and requirements.

Often, when I have negotiated on behalf of an organization, some individual in a leadership role decides that they could "do better" if they got involved. Not only has that never been the case, but on the occasions that an inexperienced person got involved, the results were adversely impacted. No organization can ever enhance their negotiations by negotiating "with two heads and two voices." Both parties to a negotiation must know that they feel comfortable with the other individual, and that they appreciate the full picture. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), there is no shortcut to gaining this type of experience or expertise. As in so many other things, it is essential to remember that merely having some experience does not make someone an expert.