Do You Feel, You Deserve To Win?

With so much of our focus so often on winning, have you ever examined whether you really feel that you deserve to win? Or, do you settle for merely being in contention, settling for good - enough, as compared to personal excellence? While each of us may have different perceptions of what winning means, invariably it is dependent on a combination of our attitude, self - confidence, self - belief, values. integrity and persistence. Unless, and until, anyone really believes that he is worthy of, and deserves to win, accomplishing the same is nearly an impossibility.

1. How often have you heard or read something about the need to focus on maintaining a positive attitude? With all that attention, one might come to believe that there is no longer any need to focus on it. However, the reality is that a true positive attitude is personified by our everyday, consistent and persistent actions and behaviors, and not merely by an accumulation of empty rhetoric and verbiage. Maintaining an attitude of positivism means abandoning not only negative words, but negative thoughts, including the pessimistic outlooks associated with questioning whether something is possible, and continuously questioning whether one might succeed.

2. If you want to win, begin by believing in your knowledge and abilities. Understand that there is a significant difference between bragging and confidence, and that being confidence means addressing personal fear and overcoming them, by expanding our comfort zones and seeking continuous self - improvement.

3. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you can achieve what others often may not be able to do? Do you feel that merely because others continuously tell you that you can't do, or it can't be done, or that's not the way it's done or the way do things, that you have enough inner strength and fortitude to move forward and use your personal assets and individual differences to accomplish and persist when others might give up, or not even attempt. Are you satisfied with being ordinary, or to strive to be extraordinary?

4. What are your personal values, and do they jive with, and synergistically work with your strengths, to make you a better and more meaningful person? Is one of your priorities creating better and more meaningful value to all around you, and serving the greater good? Are you unwavering in your commitment to absolute integrity in all aspects of your life? Will you persist and persevere, when others merely give up and surrender?

When you become comfortable enough with yourself to truly believe that you deserve superior results, and you combine that with the commitment to do be great, that belief, in and of itself, will often drive you forward to do things differently, approach life more confidently, and expand your comfort level in a meaningful manner. When you really believe you deserve to win, you propel yourself closer to actually winning.

Aways Learn the Basics, & Use The Fundamentals!

Most of the best managers and leaders do not find it necessary to reinvent the wheel to be effective managers and leaders. Rather, they study and learn, and train themselves to fully understand and appreciate all the basics and necessities of leadership and being an effective and competent manager.
The best athlete generally is the one who has best learned the basics, and repeats those fundamentals, over and over again. When you hear a commentator say that a golf has such great form, or a great swing, it is generally not accidental, but rather stems from continuous repetition and training, and using the basics to the optimum degree and benefit.

Just as very few people are born professional top athletes,even fewer individuals are born leaders. Competent, able and effective management, and responsible, action oriented leadership, stems from someone learning the basics, and practicing them repeatedly until they become second nature. Often, the difference between the most successful, effective manager, and the also-ran is merely that one trained and learned and incorporated those basics into is everyday performance and behavior, while the other did not.

Different business organizations have approached management development in different ways. While some strongly believe in advancement from within, others seem to favor going outside their organization for their top leaders. In my three decades of training leaders and consulting to businesses, I have come to believe that when a business consistently seeks top leadership from outside its organization, that is, at least to me, an admission of failure in its own management and leadership development and training program. If a quality management and leadership training program were intact and fully operational, wouldn't it make sense to move people up the organization, firstly as a motivational tool, but even more importantly, because someone from within an organization should have a better understanding of the organization, and the transition would seem to be far more seamless. Organizations that seek outside top managers often explain that away by saying that they are seeking the most qualified individual, and someone from outside the organization might bring a fresh perspective. However, what does that say about the organization, if the need for a fresh perspective outweighs developing one's own leaders.

The actual reason, I believe that many organizations seek outside leaders is often political, and not necessarily in the best interests of the organization. Some of the most successful of today's businesses, such as Google, often give large bonuses to their employees to insure maintaining their top people. That is the same reason that many brokerage houses have traditionally given such large year-end bonuses to their top people. Quality, professional real estate agents, develop skills, techniques, etc, which they may tweak, but otherwise use consistently!

Your Decision - Good Enough, or GREAT?

Most of us, at many different points in our existence, end up having to make the very personal decision whether to end up settling for doing the easier or comfortable route, rather than taking the often more challenging route or path, which is to pursue greatness, in every action and mannerism of our being. The more comfortable approach, for many, is to take that path of least resistance, because it affords us what we perceive as less risk, and thus permits us to hide within our self - limiting comfort zone. Therefore, we must face the facts that it always a choice we make, whether to opt for good - enough, or to aim for truly being, performing and behaving GREAT!

1. Greatness always begins with having goals, and pursuing the best course in a goal - based, directed manner. Good may be better than poor, but is rarely the proper or sufficient course for anyone who wishes to enhance, expand and live up to his potential.

2. Avoid taking the easier course merely because it is easier or more comfortable. Rather, one's pursuits must be consistently responsible and responsive, in nature. Positive thinking, attitude and outlooks are helpful and needed, but must never merely be rose - colored glasses in nature, but rather must be in sync with reality! In addition, avoid expecting others to do things merely because you think or hope they will, but rather maintain the highest personal expectations, while expecting reasonable actions and responses from others. One nearly always makes a greater impact when he behaves in a rational and relevant manner.

3. Enjoy what you're doing, and you'll always perform to a far higher degree of energizing and effective manner. One's personal goals must consistently focus on enhancing quality in everything he does and gets involved in, and remembering that broadening one's personal outlook and perspective, by being empathetic in nature, and perceoving things from the perspectives and needs of others.

4. Greatness demands an absolute commitment and adherence to the following formula: Aptitude + Attitude + Attention = Best performance. It's your personal decision, whether you seek to be normal and pursue being somewhat mediocre, or demanding your personal best in everything you do.

5. Take steps toward timely action, aim for the most terrific way to proceed, try more and harder than other do, and treat whatever you do or pursue as yor top priority.

Never make excuses for aiming for less than your best. Rather, understand that it's always your decision, and thus, it's up to you!

6 Ways To Stop Sweating The Petty Stuff

Wouldn't it be far more productive and efficient, and much less stressful and wasteful, if, each of us, could better focus and prioritize our actions and activities? Many individuals find this extremely challenging to do so, and often get bogged down by minutia, and end up paying far more attention to minor or lesser issues, while often ignoring the bigger, and/or more important issues! Only when we make a conscious effort to avoid this often-self-destructive behavior/action, do we best position ourselves, to become far more proactive, and doing so begins with the mindset that it is essential and urgent to stop sweating the petty stuff!

1. Focus on bigger picture: What is your predominant, self-motivating inner, vital and vibrant vision, in terms of the essential meaning, and/or priorities of your life? Make every effort to put things into perspective, and differentiate between an annoyance, that might be only fleeting or relatively insignificant (in the bigger picture), and always ask yourself, if the battle is worth getting upset or involved in! When you stop wasting time on minor stuff, you enhance your potential and personal efficiency.

2. Care deeply about your personal goals, and priorities: It is important to differentiate between things that matter to the masses, versus those most significant to you, and to become cognizant of your personal feelings, beliefs, and code of ethics, etc.

3. Use positive affirmations: One of the most effective tools to become personally stronger and more committed to become better/more effective, is using affirmations on a regular, consistent basis. Your Affirmation List must contain approximately ten concepts/ideas, that you feel most strongly about. These may be attitudinal or action-oriented, but, either way, must be stated in the present, and positive manner. For example, someone who wishes to feel better, or less overwhelmed by addressing groups and/or giving a public speech, should say, "I get my audience to care deeply about the priorities or positions I feel strongly about," rather than, "I'm going to give a better speech," etc. Put your positive statements in writing, and read them, privately, and in front of a mirror, at least twice-a-day, preferably first thing in the morning, and before you go to bed.

4. Work on your attitude: Our attitudes often dictate how we approach matters and/or issues, and, we generally only develop a helpful attitude. Don't assume you can enhance your attitude in anything other than a fully committed way, and work on this all-essential component, on a regular, consistent basis. Remove those negative words or expressions from your vocabulary and replace them with ones that better serve you. Some of these include: replace I'll try, with I will; problem with challenge; can't, with either can, or even better, will; Do my best, with get it done, etc.

5. Find ways to relax, relate, and be patient: Reduce your stress level, and try to clearly focus on remaining clear-headed and calm! Relate to others, in an attempt to maintain your ability to proceed, without prejudgment. Don't jump the gun, in making up your mind, and/or responding, but rather proceed in a patient, quality way, where you might be less likely to open up some sort of figurative Pandora's Box.

6. Know/choose your battles: Avoid the tendency to be all over the place, but rather know what you feel most strongly about, and draw your personal line in the sand!

Obey, consider, and pay attention, to the adage, which instructs us not to sweat the petty stuff! You'll become more efficient, effective and productive, when you prioritize those items most important to you!

All Consultants Are NOT Created Equal!

Every year, thousands of corporations, organizations, and individuals enlist the services of either an individual consultant, team of consultants, or a consulting firm, to address items that their leadership (or they) envisions need addressing professionally, by an impartial eye. Unfortunately, however, nearly anyone can represent himself as some sort of consultant, either in a specific area, or in a variety of areas, and while some of these individuals are excellent, and provide a fabulous, valuable service, others use consulting as a rouse to sell some sort of product or service. Major areas that consultants are called in regarding include, but are not limited to: business, financial, fiscal, and budgetary items; strategic planning; event planning, negotiations, coordination and organization; Board training and evaluation; business planning; real estate; etc.

1. Your preliminary discussion with any honorable consultant should be a getting- to- know- you type of meeting, and should be free of charge to the organization. Observe whether the consultant listens and asks pensive and examining questions, more than he speaks and tries to sell himself. Do not be overly impressed by fancy brochures and literature, or even elaborate presentations. You should be looking for a consultant that does not try to use a one- size- fits- all approach, but customizes his service directly to your needs and your organization's idiosyncrasies. Don't be overly impressed by fancy rhetoric or techno- jargon, because it often has little true value.

2. When a consultant is used for event services, he should guarantee his services will do several things for your event. Firstly, he should take away the hassles and headaches. Secondly, he should be able to negotiate in all related areas and foresee your needs. He should be someone who does his homework before he begins to negotiate, in order to find out what is needed and what the priorities and objectives of the event are. He should gather historical information, in order to gather am historical perspective and better understand the group's heritage and needs. He should never impose his will, but also stand up for what he believes should be done, and be able and willing to explain why. His negotiations should save considerably more money than the total of his fee and reimbursable expenses. He should fully explain his fee up front, and explain what he will do, how he will work intimately with the group's organizing committee, and make relevant suggestions.

3. Beware of any consultant who makes too big a deal about making governance changes, in order to address systemic problems and challenges facing the organization. While in a mostly healthy organization, certain governance models might work better for a specific group, governance should only become a priority during a healthy or relatively healthy stage, and not when there are other challenges. These governance recommendations are usually followed, in gradations and steps to follow, by meetings that you are charged for consultant's time, training sessions (also at a charge), and often with a beautifully prepared governance manual, that often is less valuable to the stability and well being of the organization than the paper it is printed on, etc.

Always ask a prospective consultant about his fees, thoughts, methods, approaches, and what he feels he might be able to do for you, before you agree to his contract. Many organizations have cost themselves dearly by not carefully considering all of the ramifications. While many consultants are great and provide a wonderful service, like in everything else, there are always some "bad apples."

If All Else Fails, It's Time to Make A Suggestion!

You've attempted everything you know to convince someone. You have utilized and employed every technique and methodology to try to make your point in a convincing, winning way. You have used the "Five Steps" method of answering objections, and been effectively listening to the other party. Yet, you still are unable to "close the deal." What should you do next?

The typical reaction is that most individuals simply give up their efforts, figuring that they have done everything they could, and still not succeeded. However, in most cases, they probably have not. When you've tried everything you know, and retried in the proper manner, and still do not get the reaction you are looking for, and desire, yet you are convinced that your point is well considered, thought out, and the correct approach, there still is one additional technique to employ. At this stage, you should simply say, "May I make a suggestion?" Once you say that, it is essential that you stop speaking.

ueWhile many individuals find it relatively simple to decline an offer, or at the very least, either procrastinate, delay, or stall, almost no one will respond negatively when you ask that question. However, this technique will only be effective if you steadfastly obey the "ZTL" method. "ZTL," or "zip the lip" means that you say nothing until the other individual responds. The basic rule of this philosophy is that whoever speaks first after a question, loses this part of the "game."

Once you get an affirmative response to, "May I make a suggestion?" which you will, even if the other party doesn't want you to, is that you must take advantage of the opportunity. The best method is to begin to ask probing questions, like, "I am a little confused because most people I've explained this to decide to pursue it further. What exactly is it about this idea that keeps you from acting?"

Once you say that, once again employ "ZTL" and wait for an answer. Listen intently, and respond to the individuals concerns. Often a stumbling block is that people tell you that "I want to think about it," which really, in most cases, is little more than either a delaying tactic, or a pleasant way to say no. Answer each and every question and concern concisely and precisely, in a calm and patient manner. It is important to eventually re-close on an action regarding the concept or idea. In my 4 decades of training, I have witnessed some fabulous presentations that did not achieve the desired result simply because the presenter did not close and re-close.

Your final suggestion is the "sample order" approach, recommending an individual try something in a very limited manner for a specific period, and if it is not everything you say, then terminating the relationship. You must, however, always be open and honest in your presentation, or you will never have a satisfactory relationship in this situation.

Is It Antisocial, or Social Media?

There can be no denying that social media has exploded upon the horizon, and that nearly everyone has at least some passing understanding or knowledge about some aspect of this arena. Business media discusses the financial aspects, and conversations have gotten to the point of not merely looking at it as a fad, but rather how the model might be better monetized, adapted for mobile sites, and used more extensively in fields as diverse as politics, news, business reporting, and in a variety of cross promotions. How often have you observed either a television program, a news report, or a multitude of other things discuss either their Twitter hashtags or asking you to Follow them on Facebook? While social media, if used proficiently, can be both effective and engaging, in many other cases it appears to be nearly antisocial in nature, because it often appears that someone is hiding behind social media, insisting on using it as their nearly exclusive method of communicating. While social media is an important part of an overall campaign, it loses much of its power when it stands alone. We need to examine this area by asking some basic questions: How is it used?; What is the user's attitude?; Is it used synergistically or attempting to be used alone; and, What other ways/ methods do you use to communicate?

1. Before embarking on a social media campaign, an individual, group, business or organization, must first decide and determine what their goals and what they wish to achieve are? Do they expect this campaign to make up for weak efforts in other areas, and to miraculously be the panacea that creates a turnaround? Or, do they approach it as another weapon in their armormentaria for enhancing their communicating, or getting their message (or a part of it) out to a certain potential segment of their audience, or as a link to their website, promote special offers, etc.?

2. What is their attitude? Do they believe in the social aspect of social media, or are they solely trying to sell something non - stop? Are they willing to truly interact with others, and utilize it properly as a potential important networking tool?

3. Social media works exponentially better when it is used synergistically as part of an overall media, marketing and communications forum. Those that flock to this arena because they see it as an inexpensive methodology, or. even worse, as an excuse to personally interact less, often end up disappointed in what they perceive as their results and the potential.

4. Finally, social media should be examined as a component of an overall program or plan. Examine and improve your efforts and other ways that you communicate your message.


Social media works best when it is, indeed, social and interactive. Far too often, the desired results are not approached because of either the way it's used, the attitude of the user, the overall plan and approach/ message, and the appeal of the message.